Top 5 reasons women stay in abusive relationships

woman eye handHard to say you’re sorry? Not so for the abuser.

Sorry rolls off the tongue as easily as “pass the tomato sauce”, and this glib response time and time again, should be seen as a red flag to continuing the relationship.

Why do women stay in abusive relationships?

This is a question that is most often asked by women who have never been in any type of abusive relationship before.

The answer isn’t as simple as one would think and depends on the individual.

These are some of the most common reasons why women stay in abusive relationships with the men they love.

Continue reading Top 5 reasons women stay in abusive relationships


The sweetness of forbidden fruit


It was love at first sight.

I thought Gean was gorgeous. With dark hair, black eyes and sallow skin, he had just those Middle Eastern looks I have always fancied.

After an awful night at a miserable hen party (I’ll spare you the details) he asked me for my phone number.

We were soon in the bloom of a full –blown relationship despite my guilt of dating a non-Jew. Not Jewish is a slight understatement. Gean was his elected anglicised first name, for ease of getting on in the Western world.

So what was his surname? Mohammed. You can’t get more Muslim than that. And what was his birth name? Mohammed.

I gulped in a rather dramatic fashion when I realised I was dating Mohammed Mohammed  but I by-passed the initial shock by sticking strictly to Gean and avoiding any reference to his last name. Soon enough the relationship arrived at that point where I had to tell my parents who I was seeing.

When my mother heard about his religious affiliation her words to me were: “Over my dead body.”

So I told her she would then have to die because I was very much in love with Gean at that stage and I wasn’t giving him up for anything. In fact, I was planning to do the big reveal at my cousin’s wedding in a month’s time.

Surprisingly, our relationship survived this pressure test, but we went on to break-up and make up repeatedly for at least two years.

For some of that time he was on another continent and he would phone me at times that were very disrupting to someone who likes her sleep. My defences were weakened and I would always agree to see him on his next arrival in Johannesburg.

It wouldn’t take long until we were back to our old familiar ways and I fantasised about a serious future with this man.

But during one of these dead-of-night conversations, I learnt that he was more in love with his mother (forgivable) and that he was a cool, calculating liar. And that’s where I drew the line, no matter how sweet the fruit.

love is blind

The worst date ever

Why date a Jew?

In my adult life, I have had a diverse dating platform, suffice to say some relationships were extremely complex. More so when my partner at the time was not Jewish, very far from.

So why date a Jew?

What makes Jewish dating different from any other kind of dating? Jewish singles by nature tend to seek out other Jewish singles even if they aren’t particularly religious.

There’s something about being Jewish, either genetically or as a society,  that keeps Jews together as a group. Not completely, of course, as there are many Jewish people who have married outside the religion.

But there still remains today, even in our enlightened, high tech society, an invisible force field surrounding the Jewish people and pressuring them to stay together. How it all began is a mystery but it does, in fact, exist.

As a result of this religious cloistering, there are more Jewish dating services around than any other religion can lay claim to.


Most dating services don’t differentiate their clients by religion and this broader group of matchmakers is by far still the largest in the United States.

But when it comes down to different groups of people who are only interested in meeting people of the same religion, Jewish dating is the largest.

In purely quantitative terms, the Jewish population of the world is almost negligible. There are billions of Muslims, about a billion and a half Catholics and only approximately 20 million Jews on the planet.

And yet Jews remain the most influential group of people in the history of the world. Why that is and how that happened is a question for scholars and historians, but how Jewish dating has become so dominating is something that should be understood by anybody seeking to enter the dating world.


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