Hard to say you’re sorry? Not so for the abuser.
Sorry rolls off the tongue as easily as “pass the tomato sauce”, and this glib response time and time again, should be seen as a red flag to continuing the relationship.
Why do women stay in abusive relationships?
This is a question that is most often asked by women who have never been in any type of abusive relationship before.
The answer isn’t as simple as one would think and depends on the individual.
These are some of the most common reasons why women stay in abusive relationships with the men they love.
- They may not have social support
One of the main things that an abuser does is slowly begin to isolate the object of their affection from everyone who loves her.
By the time the woman realizes that she is in an abusive relationship, she has usually cut all ties with the people who love her.
This leads to the woman feeling like there is no one she can trust and ends with her remaining where she is.
- They may have very little work experience
Most abusers would prefer for their women stay at home to prevent any chance of financial independence so they have all the control.
If the woman has been unable to work for some time, she may be scared that she can’t find a job to support her family if she leaves her abuser.
Most abusers allow their victims to have very little money, in this way preventing them from running when they have had enough.
- They often feel guilty
Most abusers eventually convince their victims that they are responsible for the abuse they dish out.
Phrases such as “If you would just listen” and “Look what you made me do” are common in the and she may eventually believe that if she had just behaved none of this would have happened.
In turn, the abused feel that if they could just not do things to make their abuser mad, the relationship would be fine.
- They are often afraid
The news, television shows, and movies are full of women who tried to get away and ended up being killed by their abusers.
Many women feel that the violence will only get worse and that the proper authorities can do little to protect them.
While it is an awful statistic, it is a sad truth that over 75% of the women who are killed by their husbands or partners are killed during an attempt to get out of the abusive situation.
The laws are just not enough to protect them and a restraining order doesn’t hold off a budget until help can get there.
- The abuser is very sorry
Sometimes the good times seem to outweigh the bad for the woman that is being abused.
She truly loves her abuser and doesn’t want to be without him.
To this woman, the abuse seems normal and is worth the good times to come, when he is truly sorry for what she made him do.
These are just a few of the reasons that a woman may choose to stay with her abuser.
While it may seem surreal to a woman who has never been abused, it is real to the woman that it is happening to.