Honest dating: it’s a numbers game

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How much do you weigh?

A smart fellow once told me: “Jewish girls always ask, ‘How much do you earn?’ I ask them, how much do you weigh?.” I smiled at the inappropriateness of both these questions.

These numbers are not important and certainly do not need to be announced upfront?

But be honest. How much do you reveal about yourself on a first date and in the early stages of the relationship, how much of what you tell is God’s honest truth?

Age for example is one of the most mysterious numbers in a woman’s life. Many are reluctant to express it in many circumstances, much less on a date.

Age distortion happens either way – building your age up in your teens to impress, or toning your age down in your thirties and forties – again to impress.

But what’s going on is that you are sharing a fundamental piece of information as a falsehood. Can you hope for an honest relationship if you’re not telling the truth about your age?

Another well-shielded number is income. As your dating intensifies, you will want to know how much your potential partner earns, just to establish his viability. You’re not looking for Rockefeller but you most probably are hoping for some stability and there is nothing wrong with that.

He might be equally interested in your earnings for similar reasons – he does not want to be responsible for the entire household income and wants to get an idea of how effectively expenses and can be shared – and there’s nothing wrong with that either.

Once this is on the table, you really have the makings for an honest relationship and when it gets more serious (even marriage), you’ll have a good foundation for that all important money conversation.

So, go out there and tell the damn truth.

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