You’re on your first date, a little nervous, trying to loosen up, so you have a martini –or two or three – before dinner. Then some wine with dinner. Suddenly you find yourself talking about your ex-boyfriend and don’t hold back on the disparaging comments. And then another ex-boyfriend (no expletive spared here either)
A debauched dating history is not the best way to engage the man of the moment and it is more than likely the last thing he wants to hear, now if ever.
We’ve all done our share of dating faux pas, and had to live to remember them. While they make for amusing fodder for Sunday brunch chatting with the girlfriends, it sucks to go on a date and completely ruin any future chances by falling into a typical dating trap. Drinking too much and talking about your exes are two surefire ways to ruin your chances of a second date.
Also, stay away from a massive emotional download. He does not want to hear about your terrible relationship with your mother, your drug addict brother or the number of jobs that you have messed up.
Proceed with confidence and try to keep it light. Try to focus on him but don’t lay on the Spanish Inquisition. How many children do you want? Is your job secure? Do you see yourself as ambitious? These marriage testing questions are not on the menu for the first date. These will just send him running faster than you can say ‘NO, I’m sorry, come back.’
Ask rather about his likes and dislikes in a general sort of way that provides for an easy and smooth conversation. You can share your interests too to establish a balanced exchange where you both are sharing small pieces of information about yourselves.
As much as the temptation to drink might persist while you try to calm your nerves and ease into the date, stay conscious. Do not drink yourself into oblivion. This will leave a lasting impression, but you can be sure it will be a lasting impression of the wrong kind.
If this is how your evening goes, do not be too surprised if he doesn’t phone.