I met Brolin through a set-up scenario: ‘Can I give so-and-so your number?’
By no means an oil painting, he had a strong extrovert personality that made up for that. A true salesman, mark my words.
Things got off to a roaring start, middle and end.
By date number three, in as many days, we were already serious. Naturally he had sold me the dream. A life of instant wealth and luxury, meaning that I would no longer have to work to support myself?
Who wouldn’t buy that?
I was sold (down the river) .
When he said, ‘Let’s go away for the weekend to Sun City,’ an upmarket resort outside of Johannesburg) I did not hesitate. When he explained that we would be joined by his slowly-but-surely-coming-to-terms-with-it gay son, I was less certain.
Here’s where Mr Sell-You-Ice-In-Winter closed the gap. ‘It’s a big unit, we won’t even see him.’ Not much.
What we also didn’t see at the nearby Pilanesberg Game Reserve billed to be home to Africa’s Big 5 most sought-after wild animals, were lions, rhino, leopards , buffalo and elephant.
What we did see was zebra, giraffe a singular warthog and buck, in abundance.
Nursing my disappointment over a gameless weekend, and a thorough opportunity to observe Brolin from close range, I reflected to my new-found treasure, ‘Don’t worry honey, you’ve got a big heart (softy) a big mouth (persuasive) a big attitude (arrogant) a big ego (self-important) and a big Dick. I’ve seen the Big 5.’
He must have seen me in close range and decided me unfit for the dream because I got the little 5 (a handful of words that tell it all):’It’s not you, its me,’ delivered by SMS 24 hours later!